Ted Talk by Richard J. Davidson

How mindfulness changes the emotional life of our brains. TedXSanFrancisco by Richard J. Davidson.

Click the link below.

https://youtu.be/7CBfCW67xT8

Screenshot from YouTube 

Relaxation Technique

Sit on your own. In silence. No TV, phone, etc. Just you. Close your eyes. Get comfortable. Notice your breathing, don't control it, just notice it. Take as long as you like in each aspect. Notice your toes. Relax them. Feel them become lighter. Feel them loosen. Notice this feeling of lightness. Move up to the ankles and do the same. Feel any tension just drift away. Let them drop to a comfortable position. Notice how light they feel. Notice how much tension has left them. Do this working slowly up your body, bit by bit. The calf muscles, thigh muscles, hips etc. You want to remember how your body feels when it is fully relaxed. You may want to stop at some point, whole body relaxation may take a few sessions to learn.

You may have thoughts running through your mind. What chores you need to do, what time work is tomorrow. Don't chastise yourself for not having an empty mind. It's what the brain does. Notice the thought. See it. Let it pass by. A bit like being sat in a cafe, people watching. Let your thoughts come and go.

This relaxation technique will take some practise. I've been using it for years and now I can invoke the physical feeling without doing one body part at a time. When I'm anxious, my body tenses up, this technique helps me calm down. I still have thoughts pop in to my head. Most of the time I catch myself indulging them. This is when I bring myself back to centre, notice them, and let them pass me by.

Tip: Write down any thoughts before hand. This way, you don't have to worry you'll forget something. Also, I like to have some classical music quietly playing in the background. Music that's not a distraction may help.

You may feel lightheaded afterwards. Your blood pressure has probably dropped a bit. Take your time bringing yourself back to the real world.

Let me know in the comments if this was helpful, or if I could improve my explanation etc.

Child Free

At the time of writing this I am 33 years old. I have no children. I do not want children. I am not a child hating witch who boils them in a cauldron. I have nieces and nephews that I adore. That lifestyle is not for me. Here's a breakdown as to why.

• I do not have the drive/urge/need/want for a child. Simple as that.

• A child should be wanted. (See the first one)

• I have an anxiety disorder, so I am not mentally stable enough to cope with pregnancy, child birth or parenting.

• Pregnancy. Eww. When my best friend was pregnant, I often gagged in front of her when she said she could feel the babies. Nope. Nope. Nope.

• Child Birth. Need I say more?!

• Children have no fear, and that scares me. The constant anxiety of keeping a little person alive is too much.

• Expense. Children are expensive to keep and I don't see why the state should have to pay for my child. As a parent, I should be able to support that child. 

• I like my lifestyle. I have the freedom to do what I want, when I want. I don't have to get another little person ready. Your life suddenly revolves around this other human. Not for me.

• They're noisy, smelly, germy. Nope.

• After I have spent time with the children in my life, I often nap. Those kiddies are exhausting!

• The world sucks. Google what happened in 2020. Definitely sucks.

• The environmental impact. This was never on my list of reasons, it's a happy addition I didn't think about.

• There are many children already in the world without families. I'd rather adopt those that are here.

Sometimes I'm asked why. But mostly, people don't question my choice. It's not for everyone. My choice has been clearly thought out. I have never wondered if I'm making the right decision. I'm happy.